Ahhh! September, my birth month, puts me in a sentimental mindset.
I start to look back--to take stock of things: mentally rehashing my "curriculum vitae"; tweaking my life goals and objectives.
I start to feel nostalgic for the good old days: when the world seem more perfect and safe; when people seem more dependable and true; when I didn't seem tohave to worry about anything.
I start to miss people: my Mom and her daily litany of reminders; my siblings, when we were just playing & role-playing; Dad & his quirks; Inday and her ukelele playing days; my schoolmates when we were still all there and were young and healthy; church camp friends, when all we thought about was the next camp.
I start to think about firsts: my first year of teaching, when I was so awestruck by everything; the first time I climbed a mountain; the first time ever I breathed 'American air' and it felt so cold and different from the tropical air I was so used to; my first year of teaching in the US and the culture shock; my first US paycheck; my first car; my first major wreck & my first dealings with car insurance; my first Thanksgiving and football; the first time I saw, touched, and played in snow during my first Christmas away from home; my first year of unemployment.
I start to ask questions: Why am I here at this point in my life? What am I supposed to be doing? When should I do that? How do I accomplish it? More questions than answers really.
Yet in the end it always brings me back to God. For in all these, He is there--seeing me through: guiding me when I get lost; healing my past wounds & scars; empowering me when I get weak & wimpy; correcting me when I mess up; teaching me more & more about Himself; giving me grace when I need it-always there...forever there.
Thank you Lord for half a century of adventure with you. Thank you Lord for always being there--for being here... always being where I need you to be, even when I don't ask. Thank you for always seeing me through. Thank You!
